There's nothing more or less rewarding than screenwriting. It's a constant "how does this sound" vs "how will this transfer to screen" debate. There's the never ending self esteem issues that come with writing alone, as in you never know how good or bad something is until you let people take a gander.
I've been blessed thus far with good reviews on the occasion when someone sits down and takes it in. That gives me the courage and where with all to keep going, keep bettering my style and pace. I love it. I hate it. It has become as natural as rain. I miss it when I take a day or five off. I loathe it when I write for too long. There's no comparison to the feeling when it all comes together, when your characters stop being characters and take on their own personalities. That's the sweet spot every writer craves. There's no other rage like when you remember you're writing and everything comes out contrived. It's a great contrast of emotions.
I think with independent screenplays, with any script really, the idea is to convey a group of ideas that may or may not be your own. That's where a lot of patience, some imagination and the will to go out of ones comfort zone play a huge role. You have to lose all sense of self in order to construct a fictional world full of fictional people. Distance is key to that sort of process, distance from your own opinions, distance from your convictions and ideals. It's imperative that your story become an entirely separate life force, complete with a heart beat and a mindset all its own. At the core of your message, there must, I think, exist a universal element central to all humanity, something each person can take and make their own.
From there, its this emotional process of investing some aspect of who you are into the characters, maybe just something simple. You have to relate to their guilt, their decision in some manner. If you can't, you won't be able to make them come off the page and into focus. That last ingredient of self is vital to the final product. When that piece is added to the puzzle, all things unclear become transparent.
My original attempt at screenwriting was awful, a fifty page mountain of cliches and overwrought monologues. To this day, I cringe when I pull it out. The characters talk too much and they have no real arch's. It's all flat and pretentious and overlong. But I keep it, as a reminder that we all start somewhere. It helps me keep my head up, knowing I'm able to grow as a writer, that stagnation has not yet kept me back.
The highs make up for the lows, though, and I'm fairly confident in my ability to deliver. My first full length project was a script for one of my last college classes, an advanced writing course. I had no idea what to expect going in. I was nervous as I could be. I wound up reading the script, which had some rough language based on it being a long conversation between two Army vets, with my professor, who was a woman. Hearing her lady like voice reading such harsh dialogue made me feel sort of honored, like she let her guard down to play the character I created. When it was all said and done, I got a standing ovation. That was my first clue I wasn't delusional. One of the tougher hombres in my class took me aside and told me "you need to do this for the rest of your life". He was a veteran himself and he felt I'd nailed the dialects and the verbage well. He also liked the rather morbid ending.
The truth is, you have to find a voice you can call your own. You can read scripts you like, watch movies you dig and quote people you like all day...in the end, its up to you to make a difference, take some chances and get it done. That's where I'm at...and its an interesting place to be.
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